Stifling

Things never really disappear from the Internet. I should know that. So this post is back, because it reflects how I felt at the time. And besides, Saffity was grateful for it.

But it's in the past now, and we have moved on. There's a brand new Starbucks opening shortly, up the road from the one we currently occupy on Fridays. I think the plan is to check that one out when it opens.

***

The Starbucks Friday Knit & Chat has reached critical mass -- critical mass in the sense of "an amount or level needed for a specific result or new action to occur", but also, metaphorically, in the sense of "the smallest mass of a fissionable material that will sustain a nuclear chain reaction at a constant level".

Nuclear chain reaction.

Okay, so I have a lot of stress in my life right now. A lot of stuff going on. So it can be said that I am perhaps not in the right frame of mind to document a conflict right now. (That I even want to write about it at all probably means that I am not thinking this through in a level-headed way.)

So what am I talking about here? What is the "this" that I am not thinking through?

The Starbucks Friday Knit & Chat has pretty much reached the capacity that our current location can support if everyone continues to attend each week. (This time, we really were using a side table as a seat.) So someone made a generous offer to host the group at her home. No one disputes that the offer is very generous, but there are difficulties with it.

For some reason the group was not willing to have a healthy, open discussion about the matter.

This frustrates me to no end.

I want to know what people's opinions are, and I want to hear from everyone. And I want a chance to say my piece too.

But as soon as people started to talk about it, the talk fizzled. I can see that it would be difficult to discuss this while the person who made the offer was there. It's hard to bring up pros and cons when you are afraid of hurting the feelings of someone who has just made a very kind and generous offer. But even a later opportunity to discuss it without her there was shut down before it had a chance to get going.

Someone wanted the last word on the discussion, and that person got it, but (as much as I like and respect that person*) I think that's unfair to everyone else who may have wanted to speak, and also to those of us who wanted to hear what others had to say -- openly, not whispering in corners.

I don't like whispering in corners. That's not the way I operate.

That's for bullies and mean girls.

So, since I wasn't given the opportunity to speak to the group in person, I'm going to say my piece here.

For some reason I thought the debate had happened without me, so I "went along" with what I assumed was consensus until I learned that no discussion had actually taken place. So, what follows here is my contribution to that nonexistent discussion.

It's nothing personal against the knitter who offered her home to us, but I see problems with meeting at a private residence as opposed to a public location:

- Unfair burden on the host
- Homes have pets and some people have allergies
- Parking? (Not likely a problem, but worth considering)
- Attendees might not feel free to hang around longer if they want to
- Difficult for potential new members to just drop in and check us out
- Requires a private address to be posted in a public forum (this WORRIES me)

There are other intangibles that came up briefly when I managed to catch a few side conversations. For various reasons, some people really enjoy the "public" aspect of knitting at Starbucks. It allows interactions with the staff and other customers. Also, literally "getting out of the house" can be important to some people. It's not quite the same thing when you are just going to another house.

It's not all bad, though. There would be some advantages if the rest weren't so impractical:

- Lots of room
- Quiet
- No competition with other customers for seating
- Better goodies, since we are not limited to Starbucks fare

But still, the good stuff really doesn't outweigh the drawbacks, in my humble opinion. I don't want to be shunned, so I'll remove this post if anyone feels uncomfortable with it. I just need to have my say, and I didn't feel like I was given the opportunity yesterday when we were together as a group.

* It's very important to me that she, and everyone else, knows that.