What Can I Say?

How on earth can I blog about last night's impromptu gathering of knitters of the Starbucks Knit & Chat, held at the home of an honorary member? (Okay, it was Heather.)

I ask the question because so much of the evening was rated at least an R (well, there was no nudity -- but Heather's partner in craziness did flash her new I-got-it-for-a-bargain-at-Winner's brassiere at us. And a very nice brassiere it was. And I suppose I should mention that it was set off by a nice pair of...well, you get the picture).

But as for the R rating, there was the ubiquitous mention of the infamous imaginary Black Man and his legendary prowess -- which remains only legendary for some (but not all) of the attendees, if you know what I mean -- and a detailed description of Walrus Wrangling (sounds dirty, even if ended up being just plain fun) and the big reveal in George Clooney's basement in the movie Burn After Reading. (If you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about. If not, well, you'll just have to watch it yourself.)

So anyway, other highlights of the evening:

Who's dead now? Farrah, Michael Jackson, and... Jeff Goldblum? The last one was a clever internet hoax. At one point we also heard that Harrison Ford died too. He was supposedly working on the same (nonexistent) movie in New Zealand that Jeff Goldblum was.

Vaseline. Good for what ails ya. Especially diaper rash, healing burns, dry lips, and so on. But for...you know...it's best to use a dedicated product. Not Vaseline. According to the expert. Who shall remain nameless. (Okay, it was Heather.)

Ninja farts. Yes. I said farts. It wasn't pretty. Please don't ask.

Bunny Rock. Apparently, this is what you do when your friend is being so outrageous you'd rather not be seen with her but unfortunately you are there. So you kinda shrink into yourself and stand preternaturally still, like when a bunny pretends to be a rock in hopes that you won't notice it. In the interest of privacy and protecting reputations, I will not reveal who was the "friend" in this scenario. (Okay, it was Heather.)

***
Did we get any knitting done? Yes, yes, some knitting -- and spinning -- was done. Here is what my scarf looks like now.


I am thinking the (engineered by me, not Noro) transition from light to dark at the top of the scarf (on the needles) is too abrupt, so that will probably change over the course of the day today.

It being Friday.

The real Starbucks Knit & Chat day.

***
P.S. I have some rather sad news to report: the death of Smelly Ferret (please understand, I say this with reverence, as in the song "Smelly Cat" by Phoebe Buffay).



He did not go alone into the darkness. He had a human companion at his bedside as he retired. And he was given a loving burial in the backyard.

RIP, Smelly Ferret.